Friday, July 10, 2020

MY HOUSE IS NOT A HOTEL



Howdy folks,

I hope you’re all staying safe. It’s about 30 degrees today and I just indulged in a big bowl of ice-cream, reminiscing about my summer holidays last year in Greece and France! Even though there are travelling restrictions these days and there is still an overall sense of uncertainty, people are going on trips. In today’s post, I’m not going to focus on my amazing summer vacations or on the current situation but on people who only remember you when it’s the holiday season. I guess we could call them fair weather friends but the word “friends” has a positive connotation and friends don’t use you. Scroungers or freeloaders would be more appropriate, or just plain opportunists. Now, making the most of life’s opportunities is one thing but taking advantage at the expense of others, is another story.

I’ve never understood how people who you were never really close to or people who never made an effort to maintain a solid friendship with you, suddenly reappear in your life just to use your house as a hotel. Where do they get that kind of audacity and unmannerliness from? Were they brought up that way and is their life motto “Use people and then discard them”? I believe it’s a form of narcissism. Narcissists aren’t only in love with themselves, they have zero empathy, are selfish, manipulative and have little to no self-awareness. There are different types of narcissism and one narcissistic personality type has a strong sense of exploitativeness and entitlement.

When I was working for an organization in Rome many years ago, a girl I had just met from another department, blatantly told me: “I make friends with people from all around the world so that I can just stay with them when I visit their country”. Viva straightforwardness. At least she was honest about her intentions and her definition of “friendship”. Little naïve me didn’t really think much of her statement until….I realized I was surrounded by many people with the same egotistical mentality and who were using or trying to use me!!!

Let’s get this straight: I have no issue with letting my TRUE friends stay over, especially when it’s give and take. My closest friends have invited me to stay at their homes (in other cities or abroad), treating me like family, and they have been more than welcome to stay with me in Italy. There’s nothing wrong there. When I was invited to stay at my dear friend’s house in Greece last summer, she and her family pampered me like crazy, and I did not go empty handed. Moreover, she had stayed with me and my family in Italy many years ago, too. When you’re like family, you can treat each other like family. What I find absurd is how people vanish from your life (even if it wasn’t intentional and even if it was a mutual “losing touch” kind of thing), and then suddenly sprout up out of nowhere and say “I really want to come to your city (hint hint)” and I’m like, “What’s your name again?”.

Going back to the period when I was working in Rome, two colleagues who I considered true friends, came back to the south with me during our summer holidays, stayed at my place and then guess what? One never contacted me again (I have no idea which planet she lives on) and I barely heard from the other one (who had actually told me that I’m like family to her). One of the colleagues didn’t even offer me a peanut. They say that you shouldn’t do things just to get something in return but now that I’m more “experienced”, I also know that you shouldn’t be a fool either.

I also remember another colleague who I was pretty close to (or at least that’s what I thought), who came to my apartment in Rome whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on. I would always be there for her when she was sad but then when I needed her, she would be too busy partying with her other friends (who I highly suspect were fair weather friends too). We were supposed to meet up for coffee one day at the office and she replied “Sorry, I’m too busy” but when I went to the café, I saw her with her other coworkers/friends. Then she actually had the nerve to tell me “What’s wrong with you? You seem cold”. Needless to say, we drifted apart, though I guess we were never really “solid” to begin with. When I moved city, the same girl contacted me after about a year of no contact, just to say “I’ll be in your city. Can I stay at your place?”. You can guess what my answer was. 

A couple of years ago, an ex-colleague/friend told me she wanted to come to my city with her daughter, taking for granted that she could stay with me. As much as I cared about her and would have loved to have hosted them, I had to politely say no because of limited space and personal reasons. I even apologized and said that we could go on a little trip together instead but this person never contacted me again. At first I thought that maybe I had offended her but then I realized the truth: she was only nice to me because she wanted to have a free place to crash. It’s sad and disturbing when you realize how some people have no qualms about being opportunists, but at least, once you find out a person’s true nature, you can stay away from them. 

Now, if I had a friend who lived in Hawaii, I would LOVE to go. Are you kiddin' me? However, I would not invite myself over, saying “I booked a ticket and I’m coming over next week”. If I were invited to go there, I would give in return and I wouldn’t vanish into thin air. I’m not very active/interactive on Facebook, etc. (that’s not where I keep in touch with friends) but if you are a true friend, I will make sure to keep in touch in REAL life or on whatsapp, not because of obligation or because I want something, but because I care.

I can actually mention quite a few other people who had a nice little vacation at the Sato’s free B&B, including sons and daughters of “friends” who came, saw and ghosted. Veni, vidi e ghosti. Several times, people have even tried to invite themselves over for another holiday even though I already let them stay in my house in the past!! Again, if your relationship is tight knit, or if the person who wants to stay has also given something in return, it's acceptable behavior. If it's only one person who takes and takes though, it's time to put a halt and stop this madness. I get that life happens and people are busy (why they’re not busy when it comes to using people is a mystery though....) but when someone treats you like family and when you use their house for free room and board, it’s good manners to show some gratitude. 

After you have your lovely vacation, don’t say “Oh, when you come to _____, you can stay with me” just out of courtesy, without meaning it and then disappear so that there’s no way I could actually come stay with you. I actually know of people who say this robotic phrase and when I said “I’m thinking of coming for a weekend!”, they replied saying something like “No, sorry. I’ll be busy on that weekend until eternity”. If you really don’t want to invite them over to your place (which is odd because how come you feel entitled to practically invite yourself over but then your place is off-limits?), at least keep in touch. And don’t keep in touch ONLY so that you can have another nice little vacation for free again. It’s pathetic and loathsome.

Anyway, this sounds like a rant and it is. I also have some advice though for those of you who have encountered leeches in your life. I’m sure many of you can relate to this topic so here’s my two cents: learn how to say no. Have boundaries and respect yourself. I’ll never forget this quote that a nice coworker told me: “If people take advantage of you, it’s because you let them.”



Saturday, July 4, 2020

FEMME LUXE Review!

Hello dolls!

Long time no see. I hope you're all doing well and staying safe.  

In today's post, I'd like to show you some eye-catching clothing items that I received from the trendy online clothing store called Femme Luxe

Many of you who already know about this shop and purchase from them will agree that they offer a super stylish selection of head-turning, sensual dresses, comfy yet chic loungewear, cute tops, jeans, shoes, accessories and much more! The cool thing is that they also have a "trends" option on their page where you can explore the latest fashion trends (from neon colors to milkmaid style). Without further ado, here are the four items I got. The first item is this White "Perfect" Oversized T-shirt

I chose size L (12/14 UK sizing) and I have to say it really is oversized!! I actually shouldn't be surprised though because I'm usually a size 10/12 and I forgot to take the word "oversized" into consideration. I have a feeling that a size S (8/10) might have been just right or loose too since it's an oversized fit! If you'd like to grab one of these, I'd recommend going down a size or two, unless you're going for a very baggy look. Anyway, luckily, it's a tee so even if it's big, one can always work around it. The bigger the shirt, the more you can play around with the bottom section and tie it into a knot, or you could simply tuck it into your jeans. The quality of the material is wonderful, it's super comfy and I think this is the perfect shirt to show how perfect you are :) Being a virgo ("The Perfectionist"), I just had to get it! Check out their vast collection of other adorable t-shirts (including those with all sorts of catchy quotes/slogans)! 


The next top I got is this Green Metallic Front Twist Crop Top

Isn't it soo cute??


This immediately caught my eye because of the sweetheart neckline and puffy sleeves! Plus this emerald green, metallic shade is lovely. I'm wearing a size 10 and the sleeves are slightly loose on me so I suspect that a size 8 might fit me even better. Regardless, I love the way this top glistens!


I'm wearing a size 12 and it's obviously too loose (the material is very stretchy, ladies!) and not as figure-hugging as I'd like. This is why it's very important choose the right size! The deep, rich color and the style of this dress (look at those cute ruffles at the bottom!) are beautiful however and this would definitely be a dress I'd wear to an aperitivo or dinner this summer. 




Last but not least, I got this super unique Silver Metallic Strapless Flare Sleeve Bodycon Mini Dress

This dress is something completely different from what I usually wear and I'm actually digging it! It has an out-of-this-world/science-fiction/femme fatale vibe. Can't you picture it being worn in an '80s sci-fi movie? I'm wearing a size 10 and as you can see, it fits me right. The sleeves can be detached but I left them on because they make this outfit! If you like what you see, wait till you see Femme Luxe's other dresses




This was my first experience at Femme Luxe and I gotta say they made an excellent first impression! The shop is based in the UK and it took about a week for the package to get to Italy which is quite speedy. I'm impressed with the unique style of clothes, the quality and the low prices they offer. Make sure to check them out! They also offer the cutest loungewear. You can also follow them on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/femmeluxefinery



Sunday, January 12, 2020

Stylesnails

Hello cookies,

I just realized I've never done a post about nails! If I remember correctly, I got my first manicure about 3 years ago (hmm...now that I come to think of it, I got my drivers license 2 years ago, I went on a motorcycle for the first time, 1 year ago....some might say I'm a late bloomer, but I believe everyone has their own timeline and their own path. It's never too late to do anything :)). Last summer, I got a manicure at a nail bar in Paris and both times I chose a sparkly pink shade!

I own lots of nail polishes (mainly pink, mainly sparkly/shimmery and several neon colors, too) but I forget about their existence! Let's see if I'll remember to paint my nails more often in 2020. Like my friend Alexia (who gets her nails done very regularly) says, pampering yourself and getting pretty nails can put you in a good mood. If you feel the same way, then I'm sure you'll love the online shop I recently discovered, called stylesnails where you'll find unique nail polishes, fake nails, nail decorations and all sorts of equipment and accessories for beautifying your nails, at competitive prices. I browsed through their website and found so many alluring products that caught my eye:

This glittery nail varnish (available in 28 different shades) actually changes color according to the temperature and lighting! I just have to try this product!
Stylesnails offers sooo many holographic shades of nail polish:

Now, I didn't even know glow in the dark nail polish existed! Have I been living under a rock?? 
This nail polish is perfect if you're afraid of the dark or during a blackout haha
Stylesnails selection of fake nails is so vast. You'll literally find all types of false nails, from natural looking to razzle-dazzle styles.
Ladies, let's not neglect our toes..you can even find fake toe nails at stylesnails! 😂 
Check out this neon color:
If you're into nail decorations, stylesnails does not disappoint. I love pineapples so I just had to show you these ($9 for 50 pineapples):

These butterflies are gorgeous. Now, I'd be afraid to move my fingers with these on my nails but for a special occasion...why not? :)

So, do you paint your nails? Are you a fan of nail art?
If you haven't already, make sure to check out stylesnails!



Saturday, January 4, 2020

Happy New Year! (and a Special Thank You to Tim Churchill)


Happy New Year everyone! Buon Anno Nuovo!

I had tracheitis for the past couple of months and though it wasn't pleasant, it taught me that we should really treat our body like a temple and that we should never take anything for granted. What really lifted my spirits last month (precisely on Christmas day) was a surprise package from my generous friend and fan, Tim Churchill from Washington. He sent lots of delicious, minty chocolates to my family and this adorable Rudolph chocolate for me! 
So many Christmas treats!
 Tim kindly sent me this intriguing book about Sam Philllips, an American producer who founded Sun Studio and Sun Records and who launched Elvis!!! 
Can't wait to devour this book (it's more than 600 pages long!):
Tim also gave me this AMAZING Elvis car plate...
have you ever seen anything like it? I am still bedazzled! 
Thank you so much Tim, from the bottom of my heart, for all of these precious gifts ❤ Sometimes it seems as if kindness and generosity are rare in this world, so it's such a wonderful feeling to know these virtues aren't extinct!

Here's to a rockin' 2020! 

Sunday, November 24, 2019

Dresslily Wishlist



Aloha dolls,

Happy November! Actually it's almost December...can you believe it?? I've just recovered from an awful cold/sore throat. This is why you have to take your vitamin C and keep yourself warm (bundle up and always cover your throat, h
ead and ears during winter)...aaaand stay away from germs/bacteria (people should really copy the Japanese; they wear face masks, not only to protect themselves but to protect others!!). Anyway, I'm actually excited for winter because of the cute winter clothes I'll get to wear :D I used to think winter clothes were boring but now I realize that is wrongo bongo. 

Speaking of winter clothing, today, I would like to show you some items that I love from the online shop Dresslily Do you remember this store? They offer high quality, gorgeous and stylish clothing and accessories, at low prices. I've already received and reviewed some of their clothing so I can confirm that their quality does not disappoint! If you like trendy, unique and fun clothes, you should definitely check them out. You will find such a vast selection of tempting items, including mother and child clothing (yes, matching outfits!) and toys, from home decor to menswear, from watches to beauty supplies, jewelry to essential oils, from hats to quirky socks, and much much more. As for their clothing, they offer styles to cater to all tastes, including gothic and vintage style! Since Christmas is drawing near, here are some of their
 new arrival christmas dresses:

Christmas A line Vintage Print Dress

christmas-a-line-vintage-print


I love this Chrismas Elf style dress! Reminds me of the movie, Elf, one of my favorite Christmas movies!
3d Print Knee Length Dress

christmas-3d-print-knee-length

Christmas Snoman Print Vintage Dress
christmas-snowman-print-vintage-dress

This hoodie caught my eye because...I've actually never seen a Christmas hoodie before! :D
Plus Size Printed Christmas Pullover Hoodie
plus-size-printed-christmas-pullover
A Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer with christmas decorations hanging from his antlers sweater? 
Can't get merrier than this :))
Mrs. Santa style ;)
This sweater looks like it's for men but...I'd totally wear it!
Christmas Theme Printed Crew Neck Sweater
christmas-theme-printed-crew-neck
Now how cute is this brooch??
christmas-cartoon-elk-brooch
The below dress isn't Christmassy but it's super classy and I'd wear it during the Christmas season. Velvet never goes out of fashion!
Plus Size Ruffled Velvet Dress
plus-size-ruffled-midi-velvet


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Saturday, November 2, 2019

lover-beauty

Hi dolls,

Happy November! Did you dress up for Halloween? I've been very busy and had no time to go costume shopping. I basically just put on my jack-o-lantern t-shirt that I got in Japan a couple of years ago. If I had checked lover-beauty earlier, I could have gotten one of their cute costumes! They have school girl costumes, pirate girl costumes, Oktoberfest costumes and more! 

Have you heard of this online clothing supplier? I just discovered them and took a look at their user-friendly website and the products they offer, from shapewear to swimwear, from sensual lingerie to cozy sweaters (make sure to check out their super cute Christmas sweaters!!). Lover-beauty sells stylish dresses, trendy palazzo pants, sporty hoodies, cute sportswear, catering to all sorts of styles and sizes (yes, they offer plus size clothing too!). If you are into waist training, they even sell waist trainers and corsets. If you'd like to instantly lift your butt, you can even get yourself a butt lifter at this store, haha! Furthermore, not only will you find women's clothing here but men's sportswear and undearwear, as well as adorable clothing for children. All of this at competitive prices!

First off, I would like you to admire these beautiful items that caught me eye while skimming through their cheap plus size lingerie

Isn't this delicate pinkish-lavender night gown so pretty? I like the frilly sleeves and how it's short. Usually, silk robes are long or at least knee-length. This one is mid-thigh. 

Here below we have a teal-toned lace chemise or babydoll. I think it's very sensual yet classy at the same time.

This red nighty is va-va-voom! The color is stunning and the plunging neckline makes it even hotter! :D 

If you prefer wearing shorts, this set is so sweet and romantic at the same time! It's something I'd wear:

As for bras and undwear, lover-beauty offers a vast selection. This leopard and lacy-frilly bra set caught my eye but you should definitely check out all the other styles they offer if animal print isn't your thing:

If you're looking for beautiful plus size clothing, I recommend checking out their sexy plus size dresses because their selection is gorgeous! I want to wear these dresses too!!

Isn't this purple dress gorgeous? You should check out their bright blue version and their red version too!! I love the sleeves, the neckline and those pleats!


I had to pick this one because of that frilly skirt...plus, it's mustard. I love the color of mustard.

How pretty is this fun, red, summery dress? And look at that slit!

This evening dress speaks for itself. Pure elegance.